Believing you’re behind is remarkably easy when you see things you didn’t achieve that you admired in somebody you never met. A new post about a job, a marathon finish, a business milestone, an expensive holiday, an impressive personal achievement, etc., and then suddenly, your progress in life doesn’t seem to be happening as fast as that of the stranger. The weird thing is that you don’t know very much about this guy. You don’t know where they started, what resources they had, what they went through, or what went on outside the frame.
Still, this comparison doesn’t seem like a stretch. This is a fundamental psychological trait, and it has become harder to avoid in a world that is continually connected to digital devices.
Why Strangers Become Personal Benchmarks.
Upward and Downward Comparisons
People naturally use others as standards for self-evaluation. Psychologists differentiate between upward and downward comparisons by whether the people in the comparison seem to be doing better or worse.
Both processes do not inevitably have a negative impact. Motivation can come from comparing yourself to the top: “If they can learn that skill, I can.” However, it can also become an issue when another person’s success is used as a yardstick for an individual’s self-worth.
Visible Results, Hidden Stories
This is especially challenging on digital platforms, which are riddled with visible results and outcomes, but not full narratives. A successful launch is apparent; months of unsuccessful launches may not be. The change in the body’s form and function is apparent, but the mundane life of the rest of the body is not.
This can cause a “cognitive bias” since it is possible to confuse a well-chosen illustration with a realistic average.
Reading Reviews
The same is true when readers read a casino review. While a review can offer information, it can also shape readers’ view of what something is like by comparing it to others’ opinions. If the account is very enthusiastic, an experience may be made more typical – or desirable – than evidence would suggest.
What’s Going on in the Brain When They Compare?
Reward, Status and Dopamine
The brain is very sensitive to reward information, status uncertainty, and social status information. If something seems so grand it defies expectations, it can be easy to focus on it.
There are several processes here that are overlapping. Reward-related systems provide the brain with a learning mechanism to identify important outcomes. Dopamine doesn’t just create a feeling of pleasure; it also drives motivation, learning, and prediction. A difference between the expected and the actual outcome can be particularly eye-catching when it is unusual.
That is why it is so important to assign value to an achievement by a stranger.
“Where Am I With Respect to This?”
The reaction could be motivation, curiosity, envy, or frustration. The question the brain is asking is, “Where am I with respect to this?” After it becomes a salient question, it can be hard not to notice.
The Checking Habit
This can be especially important in environments with changing rewards. When checking becomes repetitive, it’s easy for it to become a a habit. The look becomes another look, and then that’s a comparison that triggers another dopamine cycle.
What Digital Platforms Do to Intensify the Pattern.
Ranking, Filtering and Measuring
Modern platforms don’t just display people; they rank, filter, recommend, and measure people. Followers, views, likes, streaks, leaderboards, badges, income claims, performance stats, etc. – numbers complicate it.
Numbers are convincing since they seem like objective facts.
What Numbers Don’t Show
The trouble is, a number often doesn’t tell the whole story. The number of followers doesn’t show if the relationships are good. A salary figure doesn’t include several years of preparation, nor does it include the cost of living. A streak of productivity doesn’t show whether or not the individual is content.
Algorithms and the Moving Bar
The impact can be magnified by repeatedly showing “good examples” using algorithms. When someone experiences outstanding results with every app they open, it can become commonplace.
That can lead to decision fatigue and a constant feeling that there’s another standard to meet. What was accomplished yesterday becomes the lowest bar to meet today, and what was accomplished today becomes the lowest bar to meet tomorrow.
Comparison Moves Into Everyday Consumer Decisions
Comparison Beyond Social Media
The same modus operandi appears outside social media. Users compare products, lifestyles, entertainment options, and experiences based on other users’ preferences.
When looking up new digital entertainment brands, for instance, a user may stumble upon a brand name like Royalxo Canada in conversations, search results, or comparison-based content. The message is that the brand itself isn’t important; what matters is how exposure to other consumers’ decisions can shape their sense of popularity, credibility, and expectations.
Social Proof
This is where social proof is important. If lots of people seem to value something, the brain concludes that it is valuable. Popularity doesn’t always mean it’s appropriate.
How comparison can turn into a vicious cycle.
The Comparison Loop
What’s most interesting is what happens when these processes repeat.
Someone sees how much someone has progressed, has an emotional response, looks at another profile for context, finds another great result, and reevaluates his/her own situation. It can be a vicious circle:
An emotional response to the comparison elicits increased attention, which leads to greater engagement with the digital object, and more comparison.
A Constantly Shifting Reference Point
The reference point is continually changing over time. It’s always something else to accomplish, another new record, another number, or another unknown person who appears to be doing better.